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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29295111">Shatter</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/PinkBlossom/pseuds/PinkBlossom'>PinkBlossom</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>NCIS</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Domestic Violence, Gen, POV Alternating</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-03-14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 06:35:23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>17,454</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29295111</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/PinkBlossom/pseuds/PinkBlossom</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>A story told via different characters.</p><p>When your husband assaults you for discovering his affair, are you ready for the fallout? Surrounded by your team, your life changes forever. Will you be able to make a new future for yourself?</p><p>Final chapter now posted. Story is complete.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Jacqueline "Jack" Sloane/Reader, Jethro Gibbs/Reader, Jimmy Palmer/Reader</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>50</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Bruises</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Orginally posted on Tumblr but reposted here with some edits.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The cold wind felt painful against your body. You pulled the jacket tighter around your frame. The bag on your shoulder was starting to hurt and every car, pedestrian and piece of litter made you hurry past a little faster. At first you didn’t know where you were headed; your phone was in a million pieces on your kitchen floor and your car was smashed up badly. You had your weapon and your badge and your bag. After a while you realised, you’d subconsciously made a decision and headed into the Navy yard. No one batted an eyelid at a special agent arriving at work, late at night, looking like they’d been in a bar brawl. Having made it to your desk, relieved that not even Gibbs was still here. It gave you a bit of time to sort yourself out. You hit the showers, keen to get out of your blood-stained clothing. It was unlikely you were going to be able to sleep so you started to do some work, writing a long overdue report until your eyes started to hurt. It wasn’t just your eyes that were painful, your head, your ribs, they throbbed. You knew your face was going to be puffed up like a marshmallow in the morning. Folding up a hoodie as a makeshift pillow, you rest your head on your desk in an attempted to ease the pain.</p><p>***</p><p>‘(Y/L/N)?’</p><p>Tentatively, you open your eyes and rapidly become aware that only one of them is opening properly. Your earlier assumption that you wouldn’t fall asleep had been proven false.</p><p>‘(Y/N)?’</p><p>Slowly raising your head off the desk and trying to open your eyes, you are faced with the blurry image of your boss leaning over you.</p><p>‘Who did this?’ his voice was soft but laced with serious intention.</p><p>You hesitated, mouth trying to convey something, but your voice stuck in your throat. Eventually, you manage to speak.</p><p>‘Me and Stephen, we’ve been having some issues,’ you trail off and look at anything but your boss’ face.</p><p>‘And he did this?’</p><p>You sigh, it was hard to express how embarrassing this was. You were a grown woman, a federal agent trained in all sorts of hand-to-hand combat and yet you’d managed to get beaten by your accountant husband. Looking up you can see that Gibbs is still waiting for an answer.</p><p>Things had been going wrong for quite some time. Your job made it hard, but Stephen had always said he understood. Six months ago, these little comments about how you were always at work started to creep into the conversation. Conscious that you didn’t want your husband feeling you didn’t make time for him, you booked time off and planned stuff you could do together. At the last minute, Stephen cancelled on you, citing a report he needed to get done as an excuse. Part of you was never sure if he did that on purpose; you’d had to cancel dates before because of work so maybe he wanted you to know how it felt. Despite being upset, you told him you understood and hoped they could spend some time together later in the week, but he casually announced he was away with his frat brothers. Swallowing hard, you told him that was fine. That was the start of it. He seemed to find excuse after excuse not to be with you after that and hindsight told you he was probably meeting his lover instead of choosing to be with you.</p><p>Looking at Gibbs, that steely gaze is trained on you. How were you meant to tell him that you’d been set upon by your own husband after you’d discovered his infidelity? How he’d told you it was all your fault and that right now, you believed him. Words, they just didn’t seem to do all this justice, you couldn’t find the right ones to tell your boss what had happened. While on any other day, not answering Gibbs the moment he asked a question would have earned you a hard stare or an impatient huff, today he’s looking at you with soft eyes with a murderous glint that you know isn’t aimed at you. Leaving you still trying to figure out what the hell you are going to say, he breaks away from the bull pen, his ear to his phone. The clock says it is only 6am. Even in your haze, you know your colleagues are getting hauled in to work early and all on your account.</p><p>Jack is first to arrive, she sits on your desk, engaging you in idle chitchat about anything apart from the state of you and convinces you to go to her office. You’re more than happy to get out of the squad room and out of sight. There is a calmness in Jack’s office that allows you a bit more space to breathe and eventually the story of how your husband had flown into a rage as you’d discovered his barely concealed affair came tumbling out. How he’d punched you before throwing you against the wall like a rag doll. Not content with taking out his rage on you, he started smashing up your home, taking a crowbar to your car before he drove off. Fuelled only by adrenaline, you’d grabbed your go bag, your creds and your weapon before leaving the house. In hindsight, you probably should have picked up clothes, even your toothbrush but none of that was as important as getting out of that house before Stephen had a chance to return.</p><p>‘Wowzers,’</p><p> Jack puffed her cheeks, exhaling slowly as she took in what you had told her.</p><p>Shifting uncomfortably in your chair, there is a silence in the room. You knew Jack liked silence as a tool for allowing people to talk. When you look up, it’s not the psychologist looking at you, it’s your friend.</p><p>‘I just wish I’d known, I could have helped.’</p><p>You sighed. You would have told anyone on your team and they would have been there for you. But you couldn’t bring yourself to admit what was happening, as if no talking about it was going to make it go away.</p><p>‘I think I was in denial about it for a long time. I really didn’t expect him to react like he did last night. There was no warning he just…’</p><p>She nodded. ‘I need to give Gibbs an update, we should probably get your injuries looked at too.’</p><p>‘I don’t want to see him, Jack. Stephen that is. I don’t think I’m strong enough,’ the first tears since last night fall down your cheeks.</p><p>‘Hey it’s ok. You can stay here.’ She soothed.</p><p>Wiping your eyes on your sleeve, you try to compose yourself a bit more as Jack heads out to see the rest of the team. After a few minutes, there was a knock at the door and in walked Jimmy.</p><p>‘Hi Y/N, Jack asked me to come see how you’re doing?’</p><p>Poor Jimmy wasn’t usually nervous in your company. He was a good friend and knew Stephen too; you knew the situation would be difficult for him. He visibly shuddered when he saw your face. You’d yet to look in the mirror this morning but it felt bad. Jimmy stood in front of you and showed you his torch, so you knew he was about to flash it in your eyes. Nodding your consent, you look ahead as he examines you.</p><p>‘Well I can’t see anything to worry about there, are you hurt anywhere else?’</p><p>Standing up, you gently lifted your shirt to show him your ribs and tummy. The bruising was a deep purple, indicative of deep tissue damage. He palpated your ribs, but you shrieked in pain.</p><p>‘Sorry, Y/N.’ the ME whispered as he felt around your pelvis and abdomen.</p><p>When he finished, you pulled down your clothes and eased yourself back into your chair.</p><p>‘I think you’ve broken a couple of your ribs. You should go to the ER and get it checked out,’ he told you as gently as he could.</p><p>You shook your head, ‘I’ll be fine Jimmy.’</p><p>He looked at you, dismayed.</p><p>‘I’ll be fine,’ you repeated. Barely convincing yourself.</p><p>Jimmy nodded, not wanting to push you too much. There was a look of concern. Concern or pity, you didn’t much like the thought of either. He gave your hand a gentle squeeze before he left.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Humiliation</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>‘It was Stephen. She confronted him about the affair he’d been having, and he lost it with her. Smashed the house, her phone, her car. She literally ran out the house with bag and walked here last night,’ Jack relayed in information she’s gathered from Y/N to the rest of the team.</p><p>Gibbs didn’t need to issue the order to the rest of his agents. They were already heading towards the elevator.</p><p>‘She doesn’t want to risk seeing him. I’m going to keep her in my office until you tell me the coast is clear,’</p><p>Gibbs nodded as he headed to join the rest of the team. Jack walked back towards her office, she met Jimmy, who had just left from seeing Y/N.</p><p>‘Hey, How’s she doing?’</p><p>‘Poor thing, she’s really shaken up,’ Jimmy grimaced.</p><p>‘Yeah I know. I can’t believe she walked all the way here from her end of town. She must have been in so much pain.’</p><p>‘Has everyone gone?’ Jimmy queried, looking into the deserted bullpen.</p><p>‘Yeah, wouldn’t want to be Stephen when he realises Gibbs is hunting him down,’</p><p>Jimmy nodded, as if he felt it was no more that Stephen deserved.</p><p>Gently opening her office door, Jack smiled at Y/N, who had made herself somewhat comfortable on her couch. It was still quite early in the morning and Jack felt caffeine would be needed very soon.</p><p>‘Hey, want anything to eat or drink? I was going to get a coffee.’</p><p>Y/N shook her head. ‘You go, I’ll be fine.’</p><p>Jack nodded and respected her request. She doubted she was fine by any stretch of the imagination but felt she should give her a bit of space. She’d become friends with Y/N almost as soon as she arrived at NCIS. She was a bit of a firebrand who was constantly challenging people’s assumptions. She exasperated Gibbs on a regular basis which Jack found hilarious to watch. Most of all, she was loyal to a fault. If any of her friends needed anything, she was first to volunteer assistance. The thought that she needed someone last night and no one was there to help left Jack with a sense of unease.</p><p>While Y/N said she didn’t want coffee, Jack still bought her juice and a cookie, as going back with nothing for her felt wrong somehow. By the time Jack got back to NCIS, she saw the team milling around the bull pen.</p><p>‘You got him already?’ she asked McGee</p><p>‘Yeah, Gibbs and Bishop have got him in interrogation.</p><p>Jack headed straight for the observation room, where Gibbs, Torres and Bishop were watch Stephen pacing around interrogation.</p><p>‘What’s he said?’ Jack asked.</p><p>‘Nothing yet. He was at his office pretending nothing had happened,’ Bishop replied.</p><p>Jack studied the suspect for a while. The pacing was certainly indicative of some kind of frustration and his clenched jaw showed he was really wound up. The agents did not need her to tell them that.</p><p> ‘Did he come quietly?’ Jack noted the lack of any outward signs of a struggle.</p><p>‘He needed some persuasion,’ Gibbs stated as he walked out the room, closely followed by Ellie. They walked into the room and confronted Stephen.</p><p>Nick lent over to Jack.</p><p>‘Gibbs cuffed him and walked him through his entire building. Everytime he said something about his rights, Gibbs tightened the cuffs and repeated his charges. Maximum humiliation.’</p><p>Jack smirked. Reputation was everything to Stephen so Gibbs would have known that would be his pressure point.</p><p>‘How’s Y/N?’ Nick asked.</p><p>‘Hurting, scared. I should be getting back to her actually,’ Jack remembered, noting she’d left her drinks with McGee.</p><p>As she slowly opened her office door, she saw that Y/N was still curled up on the couch and still staring at thing that didn’t exist.</p><p>‘Got you some juice and a cookie in case you wanted some later,’ Jack slowly put the bottle down on the table nearest Y/N.</p><p>‘You OK? You look like you might be in a lot of pain.’</p><p>Y/N shook her head and denied anything was wrong. She needed time to work this out and Jack knew it would be prudent to give it to her, so she went to her desk and started on a report she needed to finish. Of course, she glanced up every so often to check on her colleague who eventually seemed to fall asleep. There was a gentle knock at the door and Jack got up to prevent whoever it was waking Y/N up. It was Gibbs, and he looked furious.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Non-negotiable</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>As soon as he’d walked out the elevator, he sensed something was wrong. Coffee in hand, he’d walked to his desk, spotting Y/N’s mop of hair against her desk. For a brief, heart-stopping moment he’d thought she was dead but on closer inspection, he noted the hair in front of her face moving with each breath.</p><p>He’d known something had not been quite right. She hadn’t worn her wedding ring in quite a while and she just didn’t seem her usual self. As far as work went, he couldn’t fault her, and she worked as hard as ever. It was difficult seeing any of his agents hurt but when the pain was caused by someone they trusted, or even loved, that was worse. From what she had said, it sounded like it was her husband who had done this, but he needed to be absolutely sure before he had the team breaking doors down. He called Jack first, he knew they had a strong friendship and her skills meant she was the person Y/N was most likely to speak to. His second call was to McGee, letting him know what had happened and instructing him to get everyone in as soon as possible. Jack was first in. She took one look at Y/N and looked to him in despair. He imagined she was thinking the same thing as he was: Why didn’t she call either one of them for help instead of sitting in the office alone all night? With Y/N in Jack’s office, it wasn’t long before the rest of the team came in.</p><p>McGee had asked Bishop and Torres to go to Y/N’s house and take a quick look to make sure there wasn’t a body lurking. They confirmed the house was trashed, as was her car. None of them were aware of any issues Y/N was having with her husband or anyone else but they all agreed she hadn’t been her usual self lately. McGee pinged Stephen’s cell and found he was at an address in Georgetown. He then started pulling bank statement to check there were no signs he was about to run. While there seemed to be suspicious looking money going into his account, there were no large withdrawals or signs he was about to abscond. When Bishop tried running him through the database, his information was restricted, which seemed odd as he was otherwise squeaky clean. Gibbs suspected something else was going on here.</p><p>When Sloane appeared to confirm what they already suspected about Stephen, he knew he wanted this guy in interrogation asap. McGee had tracked him to his work and with a flash of badges, they took great satisfaction in hauling him out of his board meeting in front of everyone. The more he whined about wanting a lawyer, the more Gibbs wanted to punch the guy. He decided to just keep repeating why he was being arrested: for assaulting a federal agent. The Special Agent had a wry smile to himself as he saw the reaction of Stephen’s colleagues.</p><p>In interrogation, Stephen refused to speak, kept going on about wanting a lawyer. Gibbs got up and left the room, figuring he’d give the guy time to stew. When he left the room, he came face to face with Director Vance.</p><p>‘Gibbs, I need you to let your suspect go,’</p><p>‘Leon, are you out of your mind?’ he spat back immediately.</p><p>‘I can assure you I am not. You need to let him go,’</p><p>Gibbs could feel his anger rising.</p><p>‘Have you seen Y/N this morning? You really want me to let that bastard go?’</p><p>Vance took a deep breath. ‘I’m aware what is alleged to have happened but there is something bigger going on that you do not know about.’</p><p>‘Who are we talking?’ Gibbs knew some other agency was calling the shots here. Vance maybe many things but he more than anyone would want justice for one of his agents.</p><p>‘Let him go Gibbs. It’s non-negotiable.’ Vance reaffirmed as he walked away.</p><p>He went back into interrogation and told Stephen he could go. The smug look on his face made his gut churn. He told a stunned Bishop to see him out. He then left the room, knowing he had to tell Jack and Y/N.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Inter-Agency Cooperation</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Fornell knew this was going to be a difficult meeting with Gibbs. Hell, they were all difficult but this one had the potential to get violent. As he walked into the bull pen it was eerily deserted. Did he dare ask where he was? He certainly didn’t think it was wise to sit in his chair and wait, that annoyed him on a good day, never mind one where his boss had made Gibbs’ boss tell him to release an NCIS suspect.  After five minutes there was a flurry of activity and a stretcher surrounded by two EMTs and some of Gibbs team headed towards the elevator. He caught Bishop as she ran to her desk to grab her bag</p><p>‘What’s happened?’ he asked.</p><p>‘Y/N collapsed,’ Bishop told him.</p><p>Fornell swallowed hard as the agent ran to the elevator. After a few more minutes Gibbs pounded through the squad room.</p><p>‘Gibbs, I know you have other pressing matters to deal with, but I need to talk to you about Stephen.</p><p>The FBI agent had seen Gibbs angry on many an occasion but right now, Gibbs glared at him in such a way he felt his life was in danger.</p><p>‘Gentlemen, may I suggest we have this conversation in my office in order to protect everyone else from the fallout please,’ Vance announced from the bottom of the stairs.</p><p>Gibbs stormed up the stairs, leaving Fornell in his wake. Vance shared a look with the FBI agent; they both knew this was not going to be a pleasant inter-agency chat.</p><p>‘You going to tell me what FBI case is so important that I have to let a man go who has just beaten one of my team so much their lung collapsed?’</p><p>He took a deep breath. He got it, he understood why his friend was so pissed off. He would probably feel the same if the tables were turned. Jethro’s team were much more than just colleagues to him; they were his family, and he took any attack on them personally. He was a hell of a guy to have in your corner but equally, as Tobias was experiencing, quite a formidable force to come up against.</p><p>‘We’ve been tailing him for years as part of a huge money laundering operation. They’re slick and they hide their tracks really well. It’s taken a huge team of forensic accounts and undercover agents to get this far. We cannot risk Stephen even suspecting we are on to him. As it is right now, he thinks his fancy lawyer got him off.’</p><p>‘Tell me the woman he is having an affair with isn’t an undercover agent?’ Gibbs was calmer but still annoyed.</p><p>‘No,’ Fornell answered immediately. ‘We think she’s part of the scheme too. And I know Y/N won’t want to know this, but they’ve been sleeping with each other for quite a while,’</p><p>‘What do I tell Y/N? Sorry we let the man who did this to you get away and you just have to carry on knowing he’s still out there?’ The anger returned with a vengeance.</p><p>‘I don’t know but you’re going to have to keep her in protective custody. I don’t need to tell you Gibbs that the attack was completely out of character. He’s a bit of a loose cannon at the moment, but this means he’ll probably make a mistake that will make it easier to catch him.’</p><p>There was a pause. Fornell could see Gibbs thinking over what he’d said and while he was still very much not happy with the FBI involvement, he knew he’d want to keep his agent safe.</p><p>‘I know this is hard Gibbs but if the FBI can get a conviction, Stephen will be put away for life and be out of Y/Ns life for good. If we pursue the assault conviction, there’s the chance he’ll be out in a few years for good behaviour,’ Vance added, trying to convince his errant Special Agent to go along with the plan. He knew he could just order him, but life would be so much easier if he agreed.</p><p>Gibbs left the office without a word. The two remaining men looked at each other with raised eyebrows.</p><p>‘I think the fact that I’m still alive shows that that went well,’ Fornell quipped.</p><p>‘Just make sure you get him Tobias, Gibbs will never forgive you if you mess this up,’ the Director warned.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Who Knew?</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Jack sat outside the room Y/N was being treated in with Ellie, who had been assigned as protection detail. Y/N was with the medical team and the consensus seemed to be that she was in a serious condition but with the right interventions, she would make a full recovery. Jack could still feel the adrenaline coursing through her body. Closing her eyes, she could still see Y/N’s blue-tinged face as she’d walked back into her office after speaking to Gibbs. Luckily, he hadn’t gotten too far away and heard her shout for help. She of all people knew it was futile to back over situations and wonder how they may have turned out if you had done something differently. All Jack could think about was if she’d spoken to Gibbs for a few minutes more, Y/N could have died.</p><p>‘I can’t believe none of us knew anything was going on. Did we miss something? Ellie thought out loud.</p><p>‘She kept it hidden. And if there were any signs then we all missed it them,’ Jack ventured.</p><p>‘Know that feeling. I kidded myself Jake was in trouble with internal affairs rather than consider he was having an affair,’ Ellie huffed.’</p><p>‘Self-preservation Ellie,’ Jack soothed. ‘We can’t help having hope.’</p><p>‘Well that ended with Jake,’ Ellie folded her arms, clearly still feeling raw from her ended marriage.</p><p>Jack gently rubbed Ellie’s arm and they exchanged smiles just as a nurse popped their head round the treatment room door.</p><p>‘Y/Ns asking to see a Jack?’</p><p>‘That’s me,’ Jack announced, standing up and following the nurse to Y/Ns bedside. She looked sleepy and washed out against the harsh hospital lighting and crisp white linen.</p><p>‘Hey,’ she said softly. ‘You gave us quite a scare there,’</p><p>‘Yeah, next time Jimmy tells me to get something checked out…’ her voice faded out as she closed her eyes, clearly struggling to keep them open.</p><p>‘Yes, listening to Doctors is usually a good idea.’ Jack stroked her hair out of her face and her eyes fluttered open.</p><p>‘What am I going to do?’ Y/N whispered with a child-like innocence. Eyes wide and looking for answers.</p><p>Still stroking her hair, Jack smiled at her. ‘All you need to do right now is rest and get better. The rest can wait.</p><p>Noting the tube leading into the drain by her bed, Jack was glad her friend was medicated to make her sleepy. It looked at best uncomfortable and the poor woman had been through enough in the last 24 hours. Y/N was fighting sleep but Jack kept stroking her hair until finally she appeared to be properly asleep. It was the most peaceful she’d looked all day. Jack heard the door open and when she turned around, she saw Gibbs stood in the doorway. She quietly rose from her chair and walked out the room to speak to him.</p><p>‘How is she?’</p><p>‘Chest drain seems to be doing its thing. She’s a slightly better colour at least,’ she laughed nervously.</p><p>Tilting his head, Gibbs tried to read Jack’s mood.</p><p>‘You’re not responsible Jack.’</p><p>‘So why do I feel that I am?’ she sighed, her eyelids heavy after a long day.</p><p>‘Go get some sleep, I’ll take the night shift,’ he said quietly.</p><p>Ellie had obviously been relieved and were nowhere to be seen. He held a car key for the charger he’d driven to the hospital in. She took it from his fingers but hesitated to move. He wrapped his arms around her, resting his chin on her soft hair.</p><p>‘It will be ok Jack. I’ll see you tomorrow,’</p><p>She nodded and slowly made her way to the exit, still laden with guilt but a bit lighter.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Recovery</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>You never pretended to be a model patient – none of Gibbs’ team were. Enforced medical leave was the worst part of getting injured. It wasn’t like you hadn’t endured it before, but this time was different. Last time you were kept in the loop about cases. This time your team were avoiding talking about anything to do with work with you. It was like they were holding on a secret. You were staying with Gibbs. You didn’t mind co-habiting with your boss, he gave you the privacy you needed, but was company when you wanted it. He’d told you he couldn’t discuss Stephen’s case with you, but you hadn’t quite understood the reasons. It was your respect for your boss that was preventing you questioning that. As it was, you had at least another week of medical leave before your doctor could sign you as fit and you needed another medical for NCIS. You also had to pass a psych evaluation to return to work and that had you worried. So worried that you’d arranged to go see Jack for the night. As you were still under protection (another aspect of this case that was making you feel uneasy), Gibbs dropped you off at her apartment. She welcomed you with a tentative hug, aware your ribs were still not quite healed. Luckily you didn’t need painkillers anymore, meaning you could enjoy a glass of wine with your Chinese food. It made talking to Jack a little easier and the truth tumbled out before you’d finished your first glass; about the secrecy about how you were worried about your state of mind. When you finished your diatribe, Jack let out a long breath through her pursed lips and even started to smile. She look relieved and you couldn’t fathom as to why.</p><p>‘What’s wrong?’ you queried, raising your eyebrows as you tilted your head away from her.</p><p>‘Absolutely nothing is wrong. What you’re describing is perfectly normal and I’m so pleased you felt able to tell me everything,’</p><p>‘So I’m not going mad?’</p><p>She shook her head and smiled at you. ‘If you need a bit more time to get your head around everything that’s happened then so be it. You’ve been through a lot,’</p><p>‘I think not knowing what is happening is causing me the most stress. It’s been three weeks, yet I still have protection detail. I’m not usually anxious Jack, but it feels like I’m the one who has done something wrong.’</p><p>‘You know Gibbs wouldn’t insist on it unless he had good reason, right?’</p><p>A feint sigh left your lips. ‘I just feel like my life is stuck.’</p><p>Jack nodded like she understood what you were saying.</p><p>‘Thanks for listening Jack.’</p><p>‘Hey no problem. I’m glad I could help. We all feel pretty useless too, you know? Like we should have known there was something up between you and Stephen that we should have been there for you that night it all happened.’</p><p>You shook your head. ‘How were you meant to know? I didn’t say anything. And you’ve all been kind. You stayed with me at the hospital, Gibbs is letting me live in his home, Ellie brings me food, Torres and McGee phone me up when I have overnight protection because Gibbs is on a case. I’m really lucky to have such a great team.’</p><p>Jack put her hand on yours, her soft eyes reassuring you. Talking to Jack had been cathartic. At least tomorrow was the weekend so you didn’t have protection details because Gibbs would be your protection the moment Jack dropped you off at his house.</p><p>You slept in the same bed as Jack, she argued it made protecting you easier. It was strange sharing a bed with someone who wasn’t Stephen. It was nice to have the closeness of another human and you drifted off to sleep with ease.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Not That Kind of Man</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Returning to work after being removed forcibly in handcuffs by federal agents was certainly not one of Stephen Maycrew’s more comfortable experiences. He used the words, ‘misunderstanding’, ‘expensive lawyer’ and ‘get what you pay for’ a great deal. It would take a few days to smooth things out with the board, but he only had himself to blame, attacking Y/N had not been part of the plan. Obviously, he was going to dump her at some point, but he had not expected her to find out about Larissa. The stress of juggling Larissa with everything he had going on had made him react in a way he did not expect. He was so close to being able to disappear to some island that didn’t have an extradition treaty with the US and live out his days in comfort with Larissa. So close, he could practically taste the poolside cocktails. There was no way he would let anything else impede his progress; he’d just have to put up with people whispering about him around the water cooler for now.</p><p>If he was honest, getting taken into federal custody and then being letting go had given him a huge thrill. Worth it for the look on Y/N’s boss’ face. Especially as he’d chosen to humiliate him as he led him out of the building. But the real genius was that they had no idea what he was up to, no idea that he was syphoning millions of dollars into a series of complex overseas accounts that no one would be able to trace back to him. Assaulting a federal agent? Pah, that was something any bruiser could manage. What he was doing took intelligence and that was where everyone had underestimated him. But he was going to show them.</p><p>Having been back to the house, it was clear that Y/N had not returned to the scene. Spotting her phone still smashed on the floor, he wondered where she was staying and how he could get in contact with her. Going to her work met with the high possibility of running in to her colleagues and while he had escaped their clutches once, he did not want to risk an unwitnessed encounter with any of them. With a flash of brilliance, he remembered he still had that guy Jimmy’s number from when he’d been round with his wife Breena. He was less likely to physically hurt him than her actual team-mates, so he pressed dial on his number and left a message.</p>
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<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Smug Son of a Gun</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The usually steady-handed Medical Examiner’s hands were still shaking as he walked into Gibbs’ house. While he knew Y/N was staying with Ellie that night, he didn’t realise Fornell would be there.</p><p>‘You ok Jimmy?’ The NCIS agent asked.</p><p>Jimmy had felt everything but alright since listening to the message Stephen had left on his phone.</p><p>‘No,’ Jimmy said with conviction and put his phone on speaker so both men could listen to the message.</p><p>
  <em>‘Hey Jimmy. I know you’re probably pissed with me over the whole Y/N thing and I don’t blame ya. I feel ashamed of myself. I really want to apologise to Y/N but I can’t get in touch with her. We need to sort out what’s happening with the house and everything. Even if you just let me know where she’s staying, and I’ll reach out to her. Thanks Pal.’</em>
</p><p>‘He’s a smug son of a gun,’ Tobias remarked.</p><p>‘How long have you known Stephen, Jimmy?’ Gibbs asked.</p><p>‘About two years. Breena and I used to go out with Y/N and Stephen for meals and the like. They’d even babysat for Victoria a few times while we went out.’</p><p>‘If he gets in touch again, I want you to call me.’</p><p>Palmer nodded, still feeling uneasy about being drawn into this terrible situation.</p><p>‘Jimmy, Y/N has round the clock protection: She’ll be ok.’</p><p>Jimmy nodded once more and left the house to get back to his evening.</p><p>‘What do you think he’s up to?’ Fornell mused.</p><p>‘Something. Have the FBI profiled him?’</p><p>‘Yes, but they struggled to get a hold on his motivation.’</p><p>Gibbs got his phone out called Jack, asking her to come over. As soon as she heard it was about Stephen, she was right there. Gibbs relayed the message that he’d left on Jimmy’s phone.</p><p>‘You’ve met Stephen a few times, what did you think? Why do you think he wants to see Y/N?’</p><p>Jack inhaled loudly, her eyes distant like she was thinking about something.</p><p>‘I don’t think he planned to do what he did to her. He’s a perfectionist, so he wants to put right this mark on an otherwise unblemished record. He’s also a bit of a cultural snob, he didn’t like me and Y/N going to a pop concert a few months ago, felt it was an unworthy pursuit. He cares what other people think of him so he maybe wants to show her he’s better than she thinks.’</p><p>Fornell frowned. While Jack’s analysis was correct, he felt they were missing something.</p><p>‘How’s Y/N doing psychologically? Do you think she would be up to meeting him?’</p><p>Gibbs swung his head around to Fornell so fast, he nearly gave himself whiplash.</p><p>‘Are you crazy? You want her to confront the man who put her in hospital? You’re not risking one of my agents on your operation.’</p><p>‘This might actually be what she needs, Gibbs,’ Jack interrupted. ‘She said the other day she felt like her life was stuck. Maybe if we manage a reunion, she can get some kind of closure?’</p><p>Gibbs looked at both agents sceptically: he was not convinced it was a good idea, but he knew Jack was right about Y/N not being able to move on.</p><p>‘We’ll talk to her Tobias,’ Gibbs conceded.</p>
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<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Facing the Enemy</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Jack offered to take Y/N to her doctor’s appointment, seeing it as an ideal opportunity to see how she was faring and if she was in a good place to be able to consider seeing Stephen. She’d had a heated debate with Gibbs about the possibility of even talking to Y/N about it. Jack had told him that she knew what she was doing and wouldn’t even mention it if there was the possibility of it causing distress.</p><p>The doctor was happy with the way her body had healed and she was given permission for a phased return to work. Jack smiled at the way Y/N’s face lit up at the news and she offered to take her for lunch to celebrate. Fortuitously, it was Y/N who mentioned Stephen first.</p><p>‘I need to move on Jack, I feel that if I fail my psych evaluation next week it will be because what he did is hanging over me.’</p><p>Jack nodded, taking a sip from her glass of juice. ‘Do you want to see him?’</p><p>Y/N seemed a little startled by the question at first, but Jack gave her a bit of space to think about it. Nodding her head, she looked up at her colleague.</p><p>‘Yes, I think I do.’</p><p>‘OK,’ Jack replied. ‘Let me see what I can sort out.’</p><p>Y/N moved her concentration to the meal in front of her. Jack noted she seemed to be shifting the food around the plate more than she appeared to be eating.</p><p>‘You sure this is what you want?’ Jack spoke softly, her eyes trained on her friend.</p><p>‘Not sure want is the right word. I think I need it, but Gibbs isn’t going to be happy about it especially as I’m still under protection.’</p><p>‘Leave Gibbs to me. He’s obviously not going to want you to go in alone but we will find some happy medium because I’m not sure how much talking will take place in a meeting with Gibbs eyeballing  Stephen.’</p><p>Y/N chuckled at the mental image. Jack knew Y/N still didn’t know what had happened after she’s holed up in her office the morning after the attack. She wondered if she even remembered being in her office, given all that occurred to her that day.</p><p>After dropping Y/N back at Gibbs’ place, she returned to the office. She knew Gibbs would seek her out, wanting to know both what the doctor had to say and if Y/N had agreed to meet her husband. As it happened, they met in the elevator which allowed Gibbs to commandeer his favourite meeting room. He looked to Jack, awaiting her verdict.</p><p>‘She feels she should meet him. We need a plan.’</p><p>Gibbs nodded silently and let the elevator start up again.</p><p>‘What’s next?’ Jack asked.</p><p>‘I’ll talk to Fornell. I still don’t like this.’</p><p>‘I know. But it’s Y/N’s choice.’</p><p>He exhaled loudly and looked away. ‘I’ll talk to Fornell,’ he repeated as the doors opened and he marched into the bullpen.</p><p>Jack sighed and walked towards her office. She hoped that Y/N’s ordeal would be over soon.</p>
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<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Benevolence</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The clean-up company had done a good job, Stephen thought to himself as he walked through the front door. You’d barely know anything had happened, aside from the scuffs on the paint work and the missing furniture. What did he care? Soon he’d be gone, Y/N could keep the house. Stephen congratulated himself on his benevolence. Everything was set up for the next day. He had new passports for a country he’d barely heard of before he’s applied for residency, flights on a private jet where the pilot hadn’t asked too many questions. Deliciously, he was going to be able to see Y/N one last time, make sure they knew he was not the kind of person who would normally beat someone. That he was better than that. He could barely believe his luck when she’d contacted him. It was like everything was slotting in to place. All he had to do was authorise the last transfer of money and he and Larrisa would never have to work again and could concentrate on enjoying their retirement.</p><p>The sound of a car pulling up outside forced Stephen to check the window. The car was unfamiliar but then, he had just had to get Y/Ns car taken to the scrap yard so a new car was probably needed. It looked like one of those awful Sedans that the government bulk bought. He then considered that maybe she was back at work. Suddenly his mind was racing. Was Y/N here to see him as their (soon to be ex) husband or as a federal officer. He had a moment of panic before deciding that this probably wasn’t Navy jurisdiction, so he was probably safe. Still, he would be lying if it didn’t make him feel just a little jumpy. At least she seemed to be alone, no sign of that thug she called her boss. He opened the front door and put on a smile to welcome her in. There was a glint of terror in her eyes. Was she scared of him? Because of what he’d done that night? He had to play this cool.</p><p>‘Hey Y/N, thank you for giving me a chance to see you,’</p><p>Y/N walked in and stood a respectable distance from him. She remained silent.</p><p>‘I guess it should be me who speaks first anyway. I just want to say I screwed up. I should have ended thing with you before I started seeing Larrisa. That way none of this unfortunate business would have happened,’</p><p>Y/N still remained silent, her uneasiness growing. Stephen started to panic. Did they know? They’d  found out about Larissa, federal agents would have access to all sorts of databases.</p><p>‘I got my lawyer to draw up divorce papers. I’ve accepted full responsibility and I’ve seen that you will keep the house and the savings. I wanted to get a copy of the papers to you but because I didn’t know where you were I couldn’t. Where are you staying?’</p><p>‘With my boss for now,’ she replied in a straight forward manner.</p><p>Stephen could hardly hide his disgust. Living with her boss? He was practically a pensioner and there was at least an 18 year age gap between them. Disgusting. At least Larissa was only a respectable 8 years younger than he was.</p><p>‘Well if that’s what makes you happy,’ his lip curling in disgust.</p><p>Y/N looked at him with her eyes narrowed. ‘What’s that supposed to mean?’</p><p>Putting his palm to his chest, he tried to look earnest. ‘I hope you’ll both be very happy.’</p><p>‘What? She shouted. ‘He’s letting me stay in a spare room. Don’t judge everyone by your own standards Stephen.</p><p>He had to force himself to be calm. His standards were not in question here. Did she not know that?</p><p>‘Sorry , I just assumed. You spoke highly of him.’</p><p>‘Can we stop talking about this and maybe why you went all psycho on me?’</p><p>‘I may have acted irresponsibly but that is reflected in the divorce settlement,’ he said bullishly.</p><p>‘You broke my ribs Stephen, what kind of explanation is that?’ her voice rebounded of the bare walls.</p><p>‘It’s not who I am. I’m not proud of how I acted but I would like to move on from that now?’</p><p>‘Oh, that’s nice. Meanwhile I still can’t return to work because of *your* actions.’</p><p>He huffed, his temper was fraying, this was not how this meeting was supposed to play out. He played with his hands before he got up and paced around the room.</p><p>‘You’ll be getting sick pay, won’t you? I don’t understand what you want from me, Y/N.’</p><p>‘Oh gee. Let me think. I’d like to know why you made me feel guilty about being at work all the time and then go off and make yourself unavailable with your fancy piece. I want to know why, when I found out her, you decided to batter me. And why oh, why you think that we should just move on from this. You should be in prison!’</p><p>It was like a switch flipped and before Y/N could react, he hit her over the head with the vase from the mantlepiece. He stood looking at her lying on the floor, a pool of blood forming a puddle on the tile floor.</p><p>His phone bleeped; it was a message from Larrisa.</p><p>‘Are you nearly done?’</p><p>With shaking hands, he typed out an affirmative answer and waited for Larrisa to arrive with the van. This was another unfortunate incident he was going to have to deal with.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. Gone</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>‘I told you…’</p><p>Gibbs gripped on to Tobias’ lapels, holding the FBI agent in front of him. He knew that getting Y/N to meet Stephen was a bad idea, but he took no solace from being right. His agent was missing, and the FBI had no idea where she was.</p><p>Fornell was keeping quiet. There were very few people he would take this sort of behaviour from and most of the time, Gibbs wasn’t on that list. This time, Tobias felt a sharp sense of guilt. He’d been the one to assure Gibbs that it would be fine, that there would be a tracking device to make sure she didn’t get too far and agents nearby. How this had all failed was going to be the subject of a serious incident review in the future. But right now, he needed Gibbs to put him down and to find Y/N before the whole case collapsed.</p><p>‘Gibbs, this isn’t helping us find Y/N,’ Jack pleaded.</p><p>With a grunt, Gibbs pushed Fornell away, the FBI agent taking a few moments to adjust his shirt and jacket.</p><p>NCIS hadn’t had to lobby hard to get involved in the case. All they were interested in was finding Y/N. Stephen was the FBIs problem and they were hoping Gibbs didn’t come across him before they did. McGee, Bishop and Torres were all at the house Y/N had shared with her husband looking for evidence. Gibbs was meant to be gleaning information from the FBI, but that notion had been hijacked the moment Gibbs laid eyes on Tobias.</p><p>‘Does Stephen have access to any other property?’ Jack asked, keen to get their investigation going as soon as possible.</p><p>‘No apart from work. I’ll get someone to send you all known addresses,’ he said. Grabbing his phone from his pocket and walking away.</p><p>Gibbs couldn’t stand being in the bull pen a moment longer. He hit the stairs and charged down to Abby’s lab. When he got there, Abby was analysing photos McGee had sent from the scene. His stomach churned when he saw the evidence that indicated someone had tried to clean up blood from the floor. He knew it would be Y/Ns. He’d not been able to shake the bad feeling he had about this plan. He’s tried to talk to Y/N but she didn’t think there was much risk. The problem was the FBI had decided that Y/N couldn’t know about the fraud investigation in case she tried to warn him away. Gibbs had told Fornell that he’s never heard anything so ridiculous, but that was the was the FBI wanted things to go. Y/N made the decision to see her soon-to-be ex-husband without the full details. Stephen would be like a cornered rat, and he’d do anything to save himself.</p><p>‘This is where you disappeared to,’ Jack appeared at the doorway to the lab.</p><p>‘Blood, Jack. There’s blood on the floor. We need to find Y/N,’</p><p>Jack waved a piece of paper. ‘The addresses the FBI have on file. Come on, let’s go.’</p><p>Gibbs didn’t need told twice, they silently rode the elevator to the car park level, got in the Sedan and drove off towards the first address.</p>
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<a name="section0012"><h2>12. Confusion</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Feeling like she had serious hangover, Y/N tried to get up from the cold floor she found herself on. It didn’t take them long to realise that their progress was impeded by something bound around their wrists and ankles.</p><p>With a sense of confusion, she tried to piece together the events that had led to this point but there was something missing and she couldn’t even remember waking up that morning. Her last memory was sitting in Gibbs’ basement drinking bourdon out of a jar. This was not Gibbs’ basement; the smells were all wrong. This smelt more of damp than sawdust. Nausea crept over her as she tried to think about anything other than being sick, like why did her head hurt so much and why were her clothes damp? There was barely any light so she couldn’t even see what kind of place she was in. All she could think about was how did she get from Gibbs’ basement to this place. In fact, where was Gibbs? He’d never leave her somewhere so bleak without a reason. She was so darn tired, and she wondered if it was still night-time. Laying her head back on the cold stone floor, she closed her eyes and fell back into the blackness of sleep.</p>
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<a name="section0013"><h2>13. Blameless</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Larrisa’s glare was starting to annoy him. It wasn’t his fault his soon-to-be ex-wife had been so confrontational. He’d had to do something about her, surely she could see that? Of course, he would have to alter the plan now and make a break for it before anyone noticed Y/N was missing. Larrisa was confident that their hiding place for her would buy them the time they needed. All he needed to do was make the money transfer earlier than planned. He would need to do it from work which was dangerous during working hours, but it was the adrenaline shot he needed. After picking up a spare suit from her house, Larrisa dropped him off outside work and went to get herself sorted for the journey. He would get himself to their rendezvous point.</p>
<p>Work was quiet and he managed to sneak into his office with no-one of note there to see him. His hand shook as he pointed the mouse over the button, ready to transfer the last of the money to his proxy account. A smile spread across his face as he clicked OK. He had done it. And all without anyone suspecting what he was up to, but this was not the time to stop and congratulate himself on a job well done. Looking at his watch he knew he had to get to the multistorey car park to meet Larrisa. As he got into a cab, he briefly thought about Y/N but he couldn’t allow himself to feel any emotion about her now. After all, she deserved what he did to her. All those years of being a federal agent had meant she was really good at getting under his skin. She’d not considered how this had affected him and how embarrassing it had been professionally. Just yesterday, a member of the board had referred to the incident where he’s been led away by NCIS. He’d laughed it off as a misunderstanding like he usually did but he couldn’t pretend it didn’t make him angry. He had to remind himself that he was going to have the last laugh here. He was just disappointed he wasn’t going to be able to see the dumfounded look on their faces. How they were going to wish they’d afforded him a little more respect. It would be their fault; They had underestimated his intelligence and would pay the price. Those share dividends would be disappointing for them at the end of the tax year after he’d taken his cut.</p>
<p>The taxi dropped him off two blocks away from his rendezvous point. He was keen to not draw attention to himself by arriving by car. Walking up the stairs to the floor they’d agreed to meet on, Stephen saw Larrisa but immediately hid himself behind a pillar; she was talking to a well-groomed man wearing an expensive suit. He studied them for a few minutes, trying to gauge what was going on between them. His heart rate soared and palpated against his chest, echoing in his ears. Something was off here. Had she double crossed him? He watched for a while longer, seething as his girlfriend flirted with this man. She clearly could not be trusted so he made his way out of the car park and back towards the street. Patting the top pocket of his jacket, he could fee his new passport was where he needed it to be. He would make his own way to the airfield and to his new life.</p>
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<a name="section0014"><h2>14. Tracking</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The door slammed, shaking the foundations of the nondescript Maryland house. Gibbs launched himself back towards the car with an increasingly worried Jack already getting herself into the passenger seat. She glanced at Jethro as he got into the driver’s seat knowing that he was beyond angry and that saying anything to him was going to have the opposite of the desired effect. Instead of talking to Gibbs, she phoned McGee, bracing herself as the car hurtled down the quiet road.</p><p>‘McGee, nothing at the addresses the FBI had. You got anything else?’</p><p>‘Torres and Bishop are checking out a possible sighting. There is a link between Stephen’s girlfriend’s family and an old nightclub in Bethesda. I’ll send you the address and I’ll keep looking.’</p><p>Sloane instructed Gibbs to head to Bethesda and the suspect address. His concentration was on the road ahead. She mused how emotion was dangerous in situations like this as it overruled the parts of your brain you needed for survival. She trusted him implicitly, she just worried that this was yet another trauma for him to deal with. These agents he worked with, they were like his kids and he took it personally if anything happened to them. Stephen had got of lightly last time. She knew if Gibbs found him before the FBI did, there wouldn’t be much of him left.</p><p>While Jack had thought seeing Stephen would be good for Y/N, she hadn’t been part of the planning. She worried that Y/N had gone there almost on her advice and now she was missing and possibly hurt. Before she could dwell on it for too long, Gibbs phone started to ring. He answered it, still focussed on the road ahead. Jack could just about hear McGee’s voice from the speaker. He clipped the phone shut.</p><p>‘FBI I have found Stephen’s accomplice but not Stephen.’</p><p>‘They must be close though?’ Jack wondered.</p><p>‘She’s denying everything. FBI isn’t sure they have enough to convict her. It’s Stephen they need.’</p><p>Jack watched Gibbs. He hadn’t even turned his head to glance at her during their brief conversation. His eyes still burned with a cold anger frozen in those icy blue eyes. She didn’t want to think about what speed they were doing as they rolled off the freeway and towards Bethesda. She used her GPS to direct them the address that McGee had supplied.</p><p>The car pulled up on the street outside the abandoned building. It was a rundown part of town and litter was strewn across the street. There was no one about; perfect for hiding something, or someone. They scouted out the building, checking for any other exits. Jack looked down and noticed small drops of what looked like blood. She silently signalled this to Gibbs. Silently they communicated to each other as they approached the door. Jack covered and Gibbs kicked the faded wooden door open. Clearing the building, Jack couldn’t hide her disappointment that Y/N was nowhere to be seen. They checked walls and floors for any kind of exit but there was none to be found. Gibbs marched back outside, Jack followed and found him inspecting the street.</p><p>‘She’s here, Jack. I can feel it.’</p><p>Rather than doubt the famous Gibbs gut, she embraced it. There was nothing she wanted more than to find Y/N, even if there was very little evidence to back up this theory. Scanning the street, she saw another blood spatter, 3 doors along.</p><p>‘Gibbs, think we have a trail,’ she shouted.</p><p>They followed the faint and sporadic dots of what they suspected to be blood, Gibbs walked up to an abandoned bar. He noticed cellar doors, used for taking deliveries. Jack inspected the doors and found a smear of blood on the step.</p><p>She looked at Gibbs and nodded; she had to be here.</p>
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<a name="section0015"><h2>15. Manhunt</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>In the brief five minutes respite he had, Tobias could not remember a day going so badly wrong as this one. He had just about lost it with his team when they’d told him they couldn’t find Y/N. Not only was 4 years work hanging in the balance, but they’d managed to lose an NCIS agent. Telling Gibbs had been every bit as bad as he thought it was going to be and the only positive had been that he hadn’t shot him. He knew that if they didn’t find her alive soon, that still remained a possibility. His boss was rightly furious, not only had they screwed up, but they’d had no option but to surrender some of the jurisdiction to NCIS. A humiliation on what had the potential to be a hugely positive headline capture for them. He had every agent out looking for him but they’d get close and then the trail would go cold. Fornell felt genuine panic at the prospect that this guy had already left the country because telling Gibbs that would be something there was no coming back from.</p><p>While NCIS concentrated on finding Y/N, the bureau was desperately trying to locate Stephen. They’d had a breakthrough when an agent had spotted Larrisa Hentz, Stephen Maycrew’s lover, driving into a multi-story car park. They’d managed to keep her talking while other units joined in. They’d watched her for a but with NCIS having no luck finding Y/N, Fornell had taken the decision to bring her in, leaving units nearby to wait and see his Stephen turned up. Fornell doubted he would and suspected something had spooked him. At least they might be able to get some information from this Larrisa woman. He read the file they had on her before heading into interrogation. She sat upright in the chair, her face not giving anything away. As he quizzed her about her about Stephen, she immediately asked for her lawyer, adding another delay to a time sensitive case. Once legal representation arrived, she denied any romantic involvement with him. Fornell had seen the surveillance tapes of them together but went along with her story. When he bought up Y/N she’d shrugged and hinted that she’d been planning something with Stephen, but he’d got cold feet. Her lawyer wouldn’t let her say anything else and demanded a break.</p><p>Fornell left the room and headed back to his desk. Once he sat down, his phone pinged. Reading the message, he discovered NCIS had found Y/N. Fornell smirked; This meant he could concentrate of getting her to talk about Stephen.</p>
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<a name="section0016"><h2>16. In the Crosshairs</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The doors of the ambulance were slammed shut and Gibbs watched as it drove off with sirens and lights blaring. He couldn’t stop and consider what would have happened if he and Jack hadn’t found Y/N barely alive in the cellar of the bar. Right now, he still didn’t know what the outcome was going to be, and he couldn’t allow himself to dwell on those possibilities either. Instead, he phoned McGee.</p>
<p>‘We found her. Jacks gone with her to the hospital. Where are you?’’</p>
<p>‘Boss we need you at Millcross Airfield. We think Stephen is headed this way.’</p>
<p>Snapping the phone shut he got into the car. Focussing on the road was the only way to stop himself thinking about what could have been. This was the second time in only a few months that he’d had give Y/N first aid to stop her dying in front of him. His training got him through it. But what his training hadn’t ever touched on was what he did when it was over. Bourbon was about the only thing that helped. But for now, she was alive and as he sped along the urban roads, he desperately wanted to bring Stephen down too. That might help him deal with what he had just witnessed.</p>
<p>Arriving at the airfield, he found McGee sat in the Sedan watching an air hanger through his binoculars.</p>
<p>‘What you got McGee,’ he asked as he slid into the vacant passenger seat.</p>
<p>‘Torres and Bishop are on surveillance at the other side of the hanger. We have intelligence to suggest that Stephen has been in contact with a pilot who keeps his plane in this hanger, to take him to an as yet, undisclosed location.’</p>
<p>Gibbs nodded, silently impressed but not surprised with his team’s work.</p>
<p>‘You let the FBI know?’</p>
<p>Tim smirked at his boss. Gibbs gave a flicker of a grin back. Of course he hadn’t, because he wanted to show them up as much as Gibbs did. McGee answered his phone and put it on speaker. It was Abby, she had been watching traffic cameras and had spotted what looked like Stephen get in and out of multiple taxis over the last hour.</p>
<p>‘Suspects he’s being followed. Maybe FBI have him tailed too?’ Gibbs suggested.</p>
<p>‘Oh no Gibbs. The FBI are everywhere but here. I’m watching them too.’ Abby reassured him.</p>
<p>All they could do was sit tight until they had something to act on. It took another hour, but finally, a pilot was seen getting his aircraft ready, running through pre-flight checks. Another half an hour later, Abby reported a cab having dropped of a fare not far from the airfield entrance. McGee hacked their security cameras and saw that it was Stephen. The agents got out the car and ran to a better vantage point. Torres and Bishop moved closer too, taking cover behind some outbuildings.</p>
<p>Gibbs had his weapon in his hand, ready for the moment Stephen came in to view. Soon as he reached the hanger, all four agents surrounded him. Despite the guns pointed at him, Stephen attempted to make a run for it, Gibbs indicated to the others to hold fire while he aimed his gun at Maycrew’s feet and fired. With a large yelp, Stephen theatrically dived into the air before falling to the floor. The agents walked over to him and Gibbs slapped a pair of cuffs on his wrists.</p>
<p>‘My foot, you shot my foot!’ he whimpered as Gibbs hauled him to the feet and stood right in front of him.</p>
<p>‘You wanna be happy that’s all I shot,’ Gibbs roared at him.</p>
<p>Gibbs was inches from Stephen’s face, staring right at him knowing while Maycrew may have thought he was better than everyone else, he would crumble under his glare. As soon as the suspect looked away, Gibbs grabbed his arm and pushed him towards the sedan. They’d have to make a stop off at the ER so they could get Stephen’s foot looked at but Gibbs decided it was a price worth paying. Even better, he phoned Fornell on the way there.</p>
<p>‘Tobias, got something I think you’re going to want,’</p>
<p>‘Gibbs, I’ve not got time for this,’ the harassed FBI agent spat down the phone.</p>
<p>‘You need to meet us at the ER. Got a suspect to hand over,’</p>
<p>‘What? How?’</p>
<p>Gibbs smirked and closed his phone in the palm of his hand. It was a small victory, but one that he and the team would secretly enjoy.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0017"><h2>17. Some Kind of Nothingness</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>You’d known what the doctor was going to say and that had meant that you’d been able to control your reaction whilst at the appointment. Although, it would be hard to deny that the finality of hearing it didn’t leave you bereft.</p><p>Jack had wanted to accompany you to the Dr’s office this afternoon, probably because she too could see what was coming and she wanted to support you through it. But you’d declined; this was something you wanted to do alone. You’d relied on everyone you worked with so much recently and now seemed the right time to withdraw from that support. Jack looked concerned that you had wanted to attend alone but you had promised to meet up with her after work so you could discuss it. Now as you walked out into the fresh air, you got your phone out to call a cab. Looking up, you noticed your boss sat on the bonnet of his car. Without saying anything, he opened the passenger door and after considering your options, you got in. The journey was silent, if Gibbs could be relied on for anything it was being quiet. He took you home, pulling into the drive and getting out to open the passenger door for you. You grabbed your stick and hauled yourself upright. You were face to face with him. Offering him a small smile, you nodded.</p><p>‘Thanks B…’            </p><p>The words hitched in your throat. Very soon he wouldn’t be your boss. Tears fell down your face as the realisation hit: You were no longer fit to be a Special Agent. The job you had loved and worked so hard at was going to be taken from you. The elation at having survived the double attack at the hands of your ex-husband had worn off when it became apparent the severity of the brain injury you had sustained was going to impact you for the rest of your life. Tiredness came quickly now, it took that bit longer to process information and you couldn’t walk without the aid of a stick.</p><p>‘Let’s get inside,’ he’d insisted</p><p> Gibbs took your keys and opened the door. Slowly, you walked into the house, boxes in neat piles where you’d packed up things. The house held too many memories for you to stay, you wanted somewhere new. Heading to the lounge you sit on the sofa.</p><p>‘D’ya want me to go?’ your boss asked, standing in the lounge doorway.</p><p>As much as you’d felt you wanted to be alone. The sudden realisation of what that would mean made you reconsider.</p><p>‘Can you stay a while?’ you’d asked. He’d nodded in return and took a seat near you.</p><p>‘You don’t have to be alone Y/L/N. We’re all still here for you. No matter what.’</p><p>Tears burned in your eyes as you remembered the conversation you’d had with your doctor.</p><p>‘Even if I’m not a Special Agent anymore?’ you croaked, finally reacting to the confirmation that your career was over.</p><p>Gibbs edged closer to you and held you tightly as you cried.</p><p>‘You’ll always be an Agent, Y/L/N. And we’ll always be here.’</p><p>Looking up at your boss, you saw the devastation writ large on his face. It wasn’t often he let an emotion that wasn’t anger be so visible to others. Along with Jack, he’d spent so many evenings at the hospital with you, keeping you company, letting you know that you had people who cared. He’d insisted you stay with him after your discharge and made sure someone was always on hand to take you to any appointments you had. He’d gone along with your decision to return home some months later, making the necessary adaptations to your house to allow you to be safe there. Recently, your home had become a painful reminder of everything that had happened to you. You’d put it up for sale a month ago and had accepted an offer on it a few days later.</p><p>The sound of your phoning ringing bought your attention back to the here and now. Looking at the screen, you could see that it was Jack. Gibbs noticed your reticence to answer it and eventually the phone went to voicemail.</p><p>‘She’s not gonna give up that easily,’ he mused.</p><p>‘I’m not sure I can say the words right now. It hurts too much.’</p><p>Gibbs nodded, he understood your reasoning.</p><p>‘You going to be ok here?’</p><p>You sighed.</p><p>‘Come stay with me, Y/N. You don’t have to do this on your own. I can phone Jack. Let her know you’ll be there before she sends out the search party.,’</p><p>Nodding in agreement, you got yourself to your feet.</p><p>‘Can you tell her, please. About the Dr’s appointment.’</p><p>Even though you hadn’t specifically told him what the Dr had said, you’d inferred enough for him to do the sums. He nodded and moved out of your earshot to make the call. You slowly made your way to your bedroom and put a bag together with things you’d need. When you made your way back through to the lounge, Gibbs was stood by the door, ready to go.</p>
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<a name="section0018"><h2>18. Chopsticks</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Armed with takeaway, Jack let herself in to Gibbs house. She discovered the Marine sat on the couch, reading a case file.</p><p>‘How’s Y/N?’ she asked.</p><p>He shook his head and Jack grimaced. They’d both known the chances of her recovering to the point where she could return to work were slim but to have it confirmed was awful. Jack looked up at Gibbs and noted the forlorn look on his face. She knew this was hurting him a lot more than he’d ever admit to. Y/N had always had a really good relationship with her boss and he clearly respected her a great deal, but Jack always suspected there was a bit more to it than that. He kept emotions like that locked away from the prying eyes of psychologists and the like.</p><p>Jack went to Y/N’s room and gently tapped on the door, quietly opening it and peaking her head around it. Y/N was laying on the bed, her eyes red and watery and staring at the ceiling.</p><p>‘Hey. You gonna come and get some food with us?’</p><p>‘Not really hungry.’</p><p>Her voice broke as she tried to get the words out. Jack sat on the bed next to her.</p><p>‘You’re not alone, Y/N. You’ve still got all the people to rely on you had before.’</p><p>‘You’ll all move on Jack, you have to. I’ll be replaced, I won’t get the office jokes anymore and it will just go from there. No one will do it intentionally; it’s just how it will go.’</p><p>‘Maybe if you were just someone we worked with. But you’re more than that: you’re our friend and hell, we will go out for meals, get drunk in bars and watch ridiculous bands as long as we have a pulse. Get off your ass and come get takeaway before Gibbs eats it all,’ Jack winked as she left the room and walked back through to claim her share of the Chow Mein.</p><p>Jack sat with Gibbs at the table, grabbing some chopsticks. Gibbs gave her a look as if to ask how her conversation with Y/N had gone. Jack motioned back that she would be through in her own time and after 5 minutes, the gentle click of Y/N’s stick against the wooden floor could be heard. Gibbs pushed the chair opposite him out with his foot, allowing Y/N to take a seat. Y/N picked up the chopsticks and attempted to move the noodles from the carton to her mouth. Jack could see her struggling and without saying a word, got up and retrieved a fork from the kitchen, placing it in front of her without a word. Y/N huffed loudly as she threw the sticks down in favour of the fork. Both Gibbs and Jack opted not to comment or react. There were so many little things that Y/N struggled with since the assault and she knew it added to her feeling to helplessness. Everything took her that bit more time now and it was heart-breaking to watch. Jack looked to Gibbs, who had by now finished his food but was sat glancing at Y/N with a pained expression threatening to show on his face.</p><p>‘Ok if I get a shower, B… Gibbs?’ Y/N asked, slinging the half full takeaway container into the middle of the table in frustration.</p><p>‘Yeah sure. Help yourself,</p><p>Y/N got up and slowly made her way to the bathroom. Gibbs tidied up all the takeaway wrappers while Jack got her and Gibbs another beer. Gibbs say back down and roughly pulled the ring pull on his beer.</p><p>‘You going to tell her?’ Jack set her eyes on Gibbs.</p><p>‘Tell her what?’ he replied, an irritated look sweeping across his face.</p><p>‘How you feel. She’s always been different to the others, Gibbs, you treat Ellie like a daughter but the way to treat Y/N is something else.’</p><p>He huffed and looked away. ‘It’s not like that.’</p><p>‘Really?’ she couldn’t hide her disbelief.</p><p>‘Yeah, really.’</p><p>‘Funny way of showing it cowboy.’</p><p>Groaning in exasperation, Gibbs finished his beer in one gulp, got up and retrieved a bottle of bourbon and two glasses from the kitchen. Jack watched as he poured himself a large measure. He offered her some, but she declined. It was no coincidence that an attempt to get Jethro to speak about his feeling showing saw him reach for the liquor.</p><p>Jack got to her feet. ‘Well I better get going. Phone me if you need me.’</p><p>Gibbs nodded and Jack took her leave, internally shaking her head at his stubbornness.</p>
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<a name="section0019"><h2>19. Moving</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>With a grunt, Gibbs hauled the last of Y/Ns boxes into the house. Nick and Tim were back at Y/N’s old place, sorting out the larger items that needed to go the goodwill. He stopped and stretched his back, which was feeling stiff from the effort of carrying the boxes but he smiled to himself, pleased that Y/N had accepted his offer to move in with him until she was ready to find something more permanent. His house was more than big enough for them to have their own space.</p><p>Circumstances aside, he enjoyed having her stay. When she’d been in protective custody, they’d spent evenings drinking bourbon the basement or even playing cards at the table sometimes. This time would clearly be different as so much had changed. Director Vance had tried his best to find some other kind of employment for her at NCIS, but it wasn’t possible. As a result, she’d had to take medical retirement, something that he knew she was struggling with. If he thought about it long enough, he was struggling with it too. He missed having her on his team and he really didn’t want to recruit a replacement. Vance had let him away with that for now, but if the workload kept spiralling, he knew it would become an inevitability. He also knew that he wasn’t much fun to work with right now. Yes, Y/N was alive and everyone was grateful for that, but what had happened had taken away much more than anyone could have feared. He still found himself having to remember that it could have been far worse. That his team could have been attending another funeral rather than helping their former colleague move to a new house.</p><p>At least Y/N’s personality hadn’t drastically changed as is common in acquired brain injuries. Any changes were more likely caused by the huge emotional burden of what had happened. He could see the combination of anger and despair that swirled around her. He felt it too.</p><p>The shrill of his phone ringing bought him back to the here and now, it was Bishop, informing him that they’d lunched and shopped, and Jack would be dropping her back soon.</p><p>‘She seemed a bit…happier today,’</p><p>‘That’s good,’ Gibbs replied.</p><p>‘She is super tired though. Hard to believe someone who could go so long without sleep before now needs to take a nap after lunch.’</p><p>‘Yeah I know, Bishop. Could be worse.’ He said, as if trying to convince himself.</p><p>And it was. As horrible as it made him feel, having her around was better than not. And having her living with him was something he wanted more than he could let on.</p><p>He put the coffee machine on, knowing Jack would definitely be in for a cup before she headed home. Sure enough, they both let themselves in to the house. Y/N told him she was going for a sleep while Jack hung back.</p><p>‘Coffee?’ he asked.</p><p>‘Definitely. Is that the house empty?’</p><p>‘Yeah, Torres and McGee were going to clear up the rest,’</p><p>‘Y/N enjoyed her trip out today. It was good to see her laughing. I’ve missed her,’</p><p>Handing Jack a mug of coffee, he smiled in acknowledgement.</p><p>‘Ready to be sharing your house again?’ she ventured, a mischievous grin on her face.</p><p>‘Stop it,’ he warned.</p><p>They both smirked. Jack knew he would never admit anything to her, but that wasn’t going to stop her teasing him. She’d spent an entire evening encouraging Y/N to take up Gibbs offer of moving in. Y/N had worried that it would be weird for him and that she needed to move on. The psychologist had argued that what she’d needed most of all was to feel safe. Moving somewhere new on her own was not going to provide that. Jack suspected Y/N felt she was burdening people. In the end she’d sold it to her as this being good for Gibbs too. And that had seemingly sealed the deal. Y/N didn’t really talk much about her feelings for her former boss. Jack rolled her eyes at the prospect of the pair of them not sharing how they felt. Hopefully, once they were living together, things would become a bit clearer for them both.</p>
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<a name="section0020"><h2>20. Forgiveness</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>As he left the courthouse, Tobias felt a huge weight had been lifted from his shoulders. His colleagues had wanted him to join them as they hit a bar to celebrate, but while the case had gone their way, he didn’t feel there was much to rejoice. Instead, he opted to go see Y/N and tell her the news himself.</p><p>Jack had become his first point of call if he needed to ask about Y/N these days. Gibbs, while normally not the most communicative of persons, now laced their scarce conversations with a bitterness akin to that of his coffee. She had agreed to meet Tobias as Gibbs’ house so she could be with Y/N when she was told the outcome. Gibbs had opted to stay at work, a decision Fornell was truly grateful for. As he parked up outside the house, he noted Jack’s car was already there. Approaching the door, he knocked and waited. Not so long ago he would just have walked in, but everything had changed since the FBI had screwed up and allowed Y/N to be injured by her husband. Gibbs had placed the blame firmly with his friend to be point where he no longer felt welcome in his house. While Y/N was living with him, the door had remained unaccustomedly locked.</p><p>Through the door glazing, Fornell spied the smiling psychologist as she opened the door. He smiled back and entered the house, still feeling that sense that he shouldn’t be there. Y/N was sat at the table, nursing a cup of something. She looked up and gave him a gentle smile.</p><p>‘Can I get you a coffee?’ Jack asked as she walked towards the table.</p><p>‘No, thanks Jack. I won’t take up too much of your time.’</p><p>He approached the table.</p><p>‘Hello Y/N, it’s good to see you,’</p><p>‘Hi Tobias. Take a seat,’ she offered.</p><p>Tentatively, he pulled the chair out. Jack noted his hesitancy.</p><p>‘It’s ok, growly bear is very much in the middle of a case. He’s not due home for quite some time.’</p><p>Fornell smirked. ‘Well, you know what he’s like.’</p><p>Tobias went through the outcome of Stephen’s court case. The charges that had been bought and more importantly, the prison sentence he had received. Y/N could be assured that he would be incarcerated until he himself was an old man. Y/N nodded, taking in the information Fornell had offered.</p><p>‘I know this doesn’t make anything better and I can’t undo the decisions that were made, but I’m really sorry about what has happened, Y/N. I know I joke about the way Gibbs has been with me recently but it’s nothing more than I deserve. I screwed up and it’s something I can never put right. I hope the knowledge that Stephen has been convicted will go some way to helping you move forward. But I don’t think it will ever leave me and I’ll have to live with my bad decisions.’</p><p>There was a minute of silence while Y/N gathered her thoughts. She looked to the FBI agent.</p><p>‘I don’t blame you, Fornell. I blame Stephen. He made the decisions that hurt me the most. Thank you for coming around. Go join your colleagues at the bar. You got him and you deserve to celebrate.’</p><p>‘Nice to see living with Gibbs hasn’t changed you, Y/N. I didn’t go to the bar because I felt it was more important to see you. However, with your blessing, I shall join the rest of the team for one.’</p><p>‘He’ll get over it. You know how protective he is over his team. I’m going to go get a lie down, possibly over did it with the housework today. I’ll see you both later.’</p><p>Fornell and Sloane bid Y/N goodbye, both remaining seated at the table as she made her way to her bedroom.</p><p>‘I’m not so sure Gibbs will be forgiving me anytime soon,’ Fornell sighed once Y/N was out of earshot</p><p>Jack shrugged. ‘He might if Y/N is willing to. He’s taken her being medically retired really badly. You should try working with him right now, he’s worse than usual.’</p><p>Tobias nodded. Gibbs had endured more heartbreak than anyone he knew. Losing Diane had given him a taster of the kind of pain his friend carried around with him. He knew he was just going to have to give him space.</p>
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<a name="section0021"><h2>21. Diet and Nutrition</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Before your injury, you were never a great fan of naps but now it was something you needed to do, or you’d be painfully tired for the rest of the day. It had taken you longer to fall asleep this time, your mind trying to make sense of Stephen’s sentencing. It was hard not to think about your ex-husband most days. He was the reason you were in this situation, the reason you had nothing better to do with your time.</p><p>Pulling yourself upright, you grab your stick and make your way back through to the lounge. Tobias and Jack were long gone, Jack using her spare key to lock up. The clock indicated it was 4 o’clock, meaning you still had hours that you needed to fill. Grabbing your cookery books, you identified something you wanted to try and make for dinner. Previously, you’d have ordered a takeout, the life of a federal agent did not allow much time for food preparation. The life of a former federal agent however, allowed plenty of time. If you ate poorly, you would feel terrible. It was a case of listening to your body and trying new things. You always cooked more than you needed, figuring that at least Gibbs could eat it when he got home. He never expected you to cook for him, but you saw the happy look on his face when he got home late and was given a plate of leftovers, rather than having to eat another bowl of cereal.</p><p>The surprising revelation of your injury was how it had altered your tastebuds. While before you would opt for plain food, you now sought out different cuisines and experimented with flavours. Tonight, you would be making Cajun chicken, something the old you would never have dared even try.</p><p>You were just getting the dish out the oven when your phone rang. Picking it up, you could see it was Gibbs.</p><p>‘Just finished work, you want me to pick you anything up at the shop?’</p><p>You explained that you’d made dinner if he wanted some. He sounded more than happy with that arrangement.</p><p>‘In that case I’ll get some beer and be back soon,’</p><p>‘I miss beer,’ you mused.</p><p>‘I know, want me to pick you up some juice?’</p><p>‘Sure.’ You replied before Gibbs hung up.</p><p>Juice was not much of a substitute for beer, but it was better than nothing. You had no tolerance for alcohol now. Even the smallest amount would make you feel really drunk and out of control, something you didn’t like.</p><p>The dish wen back in the oven, you adjusted the dial so it kept the food warm rather than incinerating it while you waited on Gibbs getting back. Eating with someone was a much better prospect than eating alone.</p>
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<a name="section0022"><h2>22. Beer</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The news was all over the screens and it was impossible for Gibbs or the rest of the team to avoid. By the time Jack arrived in the office after leaving Y/N, everyone was talking about it, but not around Gibbs.</p><p>‘I see the news it out there,’ Jack said as she walked up to the Supervisory Agent’s desk.</p><p>‘Yeah, no escaping it. How did Y/N take it?’</p><p>Jack nodded. ‘OK for now. Might take a while for that information to sink in though.’</p><p>Gibbs busied himself with the casefile on his desk, feeling that familiar knot on anger in his jaw. Jack was looking at him, almost trying to prompt more conversation out of him, but he was done. He couldn’t talk about it anymore without his anger becoming all too apparent. Silence seemed the safer option.</p><p>The case was progressing well and the team were likely to see their own beds that night. Gibbs sent them all home about six. He called Y/N, wondering if she wanted any food. When she told him she had cooked, Gibbs was relieved, at least she was up and about, aware that news like she’s just had was enough to tire her out completely. Gibbs called by the store and checked the drink fridges for something. He smiled to himself as he found what he was looking for. He paid and headed home where the smell of Y/N’s cooking hit him before he even got in the porch. She was in the kitchen, starting to serve up the food.</p><p>‘I got you something,’ he announced, reaching into the bag he was holding.</p><p>Surprised, Y/N watched as he produced a pack of beer out the bag and handed it to her. Her face was a picture of confusion until she read the label.</p><p>‘No-alcohol beer!’  she exclaimed.</p><p>Jethro shrugged. ‘It might be awful, but it’s worth a try.’</p><p>So they sat and ate the food and Y/N drank her alcohol free beer. It was hard not to smile at the happiness something as ordinary as beer had given her. Gibbs could feel that knot of anger unravelled as she described how it was so nice to finally have something she’s missed so much. If only the other issues could be solved so easily, Jethro thought to himself. He found himself amused that despite the beer having no alcohol in it, Y/N was becoming giddy with a happiness usually reserved for drinking sessions. She was chatty, like a filter had been removed. He sat with his elbow resting against the table and his head resting against his hand, listening to Y/N talk and laugh. Suddenly, her face became all serious again, Gibbs wondered if he’s missed something.</p><p>‘I guess you know about Stephen?’</p><p>‘Yeah, it was all over the news, hard to avoid,’ he replied.</p><p>She nodded her head slowly, her eyes distant. He wondered if this was Jack had meant about processing the information.</p><p>‘You wanna talk about it, Y/N?’</p><p>‘Fornell, you should talk to Fornell. I know you’re angry, but he didn’t do this.’</p><p>Gibbs remained silent, afraid he might say something to upset her, particularly if he spoke about how he didn’t give a damn about Fornell at the moment.</p><p>‘I don’t know how I expected to feel. It’s like I can’t rely on how I would have reacted to things before the accident. I thought I might feel more… relieved, upset, something. I don’t feel anything. I was married to the man for twenty years and I can’t bring myself to feel any sort of emotion about it at all.’</p><p>‘I think that’s about all he deserves,’</p><p>He watched her as he nodded, trying to take in what he was saying, trying to come to terms with the implications.</p><p>‘You don’t think I’m broken then?’</p><p>‘No,’ he returned, swiftly.</p><p>She looked at him, a hint of uncertainty on her face.</p><p>‘Why?’</p><p>‘Because you’re worried about it,’ he replied with a soft smile.</p><p>After thinking about it a while longer, she suddenly got what he was trying to say and smiled back. Grabbing her stick, she got up and went to the kitchen.</p><p>‘Think I need another beer, you want one?’</p><p>‘No. Think I’ll go work on the boat for a bit.’</p><p>As she closed the refrigerator door, he noticed the disappointed look on her face.</p><p>‘You wanna come?’</p><p>‘I’m not good on those stairs,’ she confessed.</p><p>Of course, the basement stairs had partially open risers, which made placing her feet on the steps difficult.</p><p>‘I’ll help you down?’ he suggested.</p><p>He could tell that she wasn’t going to go for that before the words had left his mouth. She relied on others for so much now and it really got to her. It really got to him too, knowing she was feeling that the independence she had built up over the years was being threatened by simple concepts like stairs.</p><p>‘I’ll be fine, you go to your boat, I’m going to watch TV,’ he waved him away, trying her best to smile.</p><p>He didn’t want to go work on his boat anymore, he wanted to stay with her and keep her company, be with her in case she needed to talk. Why had he mentioned the boat? He couldn’t change his mind now without looking like he was patronising her.</p><p>‘I miss our evenings in the basement,’ he sighed wistfully.</p><p>Y/N looked up, as if remembering the times they’d worked on the boat together, a jar of bourbon never too far away.</p><p>‘Yeah, I do too.’ </p><p>He took himself down to his basement. Instead of working on the boat, he got his measuring tape out and started planning a different kind of project.</p>
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<a name="section0023"><h2>23. Visiting the Doctor</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Dr Mallard sat in the quiet café, awaiting the arrival of Y/N. He was used to witnessing the worst of humanity’s actions, but when he had visited her in hospital, not long after her second brush with death, he felt saddened that someone who proposed they’d loved her could hurt her like they had. Even worse, was witnessing the pain her colleagues were experiencing. Jethro was rarely found at home those six months she was in hospital, he was, more often found at Y/Ns bedside. While such actions were very much in character for Jethro, he knew that Y/N was someone he was especially fond of. She’d been on his team the longest out of all of them. Someone once suggested she was the team’s “mother,” but she didn’t really respond to the title and appeared a bit dejected at the suggestion. While some had felt she was sensitive about her age, Ducky had always suspected that motherhood was an emotive subject for the childless special agent and not something anyone should be joking about.</p><p>On noting Y/N’s arrival, he smiled broadly, standing up to welcome his much-cherished ex colleague. Now he had retired, he looked forward to catching up with his friends even more, hesitant to let their stories go.</p><p>‘My dear Y/N, you are looking very well.</p><p>‘Thank you Ducky It’s nice to get out the house,’</p><p>The Doctor had offered to pick Y/N up, but she had declined. In a way he was please, it showed that she was still fiercely independent despite how much harder things were for her now. All the same probably, he’d insist on taking her home, knowing how quickly she got tired these days.</p><p>They shared stories, talked about the old times and future plans. Ducky was never stuck for conversation, but he was careful to not dominate and allow Y/N time to absorb information. He listened with interest when she described all the things that she found different since her accident. He asked her how sharing a house with Jethro was going this time around. She relayed the story of the alcohol-free beer and how happy she was to receive it as a gift. Her eyes lit up in much the same way some women did when talking about shoes. It gave Ducky a huge sense of relief that she was getting joy out of such discoveries.</p><p>‘I guess I’ll have to find my own place soon enough. Won’t be the same living on my own again.’</p><p>‘Whatever makes you think you’ll have to move out? I can assure you, if Jethro didn’t want you there, you’d soon know about it,’ replied the puzzled Medical Examiner.</p><p>‘Yes, but I can’t stay there forever, can I?’</p><p>‘You’ve been there a matter of weeks, that’s quite a bit away from forever. Have you asked him about it?’</p><p>She sighed, some sort of conflict playing out in her mind, one that he was not privy to. Ducky mused over Y/N’s comments. Prior to the assault, she’d been really good at reading her boss’ mood and even his body language, it was probably the reason she had lasted so long on the team. McGee could predict Gibbs’ reactions, but he was never as good as Y/N at being able to tell what he was thinking. So, it was interesting that she couldn’t tell that Jethro would let her live with him until the end of days, something that was completely obvious to everyone else who knew them.  He made a mental note to talk to Jacqueline about it because if he knew one thing, it was that Y/N and Gibbs needed each other right now and that may need a little push in the right direction.</p>
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<a name="section0024"><h2>24. Burning</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>When you’d originally agreed to cook a meal for Gibbs and Jack, you’d clearly been in a better mood that you were today as you found yourself struggling to feel the same enthusiasm with a horrific mood where the slightest inconvenience threated to tip you in to a violent rage. This had become a regular thing, every few weeks you’d feel like everything was going wrong and the world was against you. Even your afternoon nap had failed to make you feel any better and the black cloud that had been following you around all day now seemed to be smothering you. The jar you’d attempted to open was steadfastly refusing to budge. You had a gadget to help you with this but even that was not having the desired effect. The anger was building inside you and you were contemplating smashing the stupid jar across the floor, but then, a wave of sadness hit you. Not only did you have these periods of feeling incessantly angry, you also had flashes of feeling unbearably miserable. You no longer had the energy to do anything with the jar and placed it next to the hob with your bubbling creation simmering away and leaning heavily on your stick, walked through to the lounge, hauling yourself on to the couch. The tears started to stream down your face as you lost control. Closing your eyes, you laid down and hope the feeling would pass soon.</p><p>‘Y/N, are you ok?’</p><p>You woke up with a jolt, coughing at the thick smoke that had filled the room, your ears hurting from the high-pitched alarm. Focussing your eyes, you see Jack crouched down beside you, a worried look on her face.</p><p>Why was Jack here?</p><p>Where was the smoke coming from?</p><p>What was that alarm?</p><p>Confused, you look at your friend who was gently rubbing your arm. Gibbs came into view with a concerned look on his face, he too was coughing.</p><p>And then you remembered.</p><p>The meal.</p><p>The jar.</p><p>The overwhelming feeling of unhappiness.</p><p>It took a few minutes to connect the dots, but you realised this was your fault.</p><p>‘I’m so sorry,’ you gasped. ‘Is the kitchen ok?’</p><p>Gibbs shrugged, ‘It’s fine. The pan might not make it though.’</p><p>The palpitations in your chest were not easing. The feeling of impending doom didn’t want to leave. Jack sat next to you, trying to reassure you. You didn’t see the look that your ex-colleagues had shared, you only heard Gibbs announce he was going to get some takeout, leaving you with Jack.</p><p>‘Is he angry?’ you ask her.</p><p>‘Who, Gibbs? No. He’s relieved you’re ok. Can you remember what happened?’</p><p>You tell Jack what you remember, about the jar, feeling angry then inconsolable and how you must have fallen asleep.</p><p>‘And how are you feeling now?’</p><p>‘Like an idiot having a panic attack.’</p><p>She continued to calm you, speaking softly and bringing you back to a better state of mind. When Gibbs returned with the food, you made an attempt at eating it but your mind was trying to compute what had happened. You had all these emotions running around your head and you didn’t know what to do with any of them. As Gibbs started to clear up the takeaway, Jack got up to leave.</p><p>‘Y/N, talk to him,’ she gestured towards Jethro. ‘He’s worried about you and he wants to help. Let him,’ she urged.</p><p>Nodding in agreement, you attempted to get yourself up. Jack announced that she was going home, and Gibbs shouted back that he’d see her on Monday. You walked through to the kitchen. There didn’t seem to be much in the way of damage, everything just needed a good wash.</p><p>‘I can clean up in here tomorrow,’ you offered.</p><p>‘We’ll both do it. You ok?’</p><p>You nodded while letting out a long sigh. Gibbs put the cloth he was holding back on the tap and led you out the kitchen, stopping at the refrigerator to pick up some of your non-alcoholic beer before carrying on towards the basement steps.</p><p>‘I wanna show you something.’ He whispered.</p><p>As you reached the top of the stairs, you tensed up. Getting down them was less of an issue than getting back up.</p><p>‘Come on, I promise it will be fine.’ He soothed.</p><p>Despite you better judgement, you shakily walked down the first step, then the second. You realised what he wanted to show you.</p><p>‘You put full risers on the stairs!’ you exclaimed. ‘You didn’t need to do that just for me.’</p><p>‘The stairs aren’t much use if you can’t use them,’ he smirked as he got a stool out ready for you.</p><p>Manoeuvring yourself into the chair you glanced at Gibbs with a puzzled look. He poured himself a glass of bourbon and placed the beer beside you.</p><p>‘I feel bad now,’ you sighed.</p><p>Jethro gave you one of his, ‘you’re-going-to-have-to-expand-on that’ looks. You concentrated on your beer for a few moments, trying to think how to word what you wanted to say.</p><p>‘That you went to all that effort fixing the stairs,’</p><p>He couldn’t and didn’t try to hide the perplexed look on his face.</p><p>‘Why wouldn’t I? You live here too,’</p><p>‘But not forever,’</p><p>‘It’s up to you how long you stay Y/N. I ain’t kicking you out. You can stay forever if you like.’</p><p>Allowing a few moments for his words to sink in, you feel a smile spread across your face.</p><p>‘You’d let me stay here forever?’</p><p>‘Yeah,’</p><p>Those steely eyes were looking at you. There were aspects of your life that had changed phenomenally and were unrecognisable from the life you lead prior to your injury. While you found it hard to read people sometimes, you still trusted Gibbs completely. He was the only man you knew wouldn’t lie to you. Your feelings for him had always been governed by your professionalism. Having thought about going to his house the night Stephen assaulted you but ultimately deciding not to because you didn’t want him to think of you as someone who needed saving. You cared deeply what he thought about you for reasons that weren’t always connected to your job.</p><p>‘Thank you. I’m not sure I deserve friends like you and Jack.’</p><p>‘Why?’</p><p>‘Sorry?’ you replied, not sure what he meant.</p><p>‘Why don’t you think you deserve me and Jack?’</p><p>‘Because I’m hard work. I don’t always make a lot of sense. I can never be there for you guys the ways you’ve been there for me. Some days I don’t even feel like the woman who wore these clothes a year ago. I look at photos and I don’t recognise myself. How can anyone want to be with me when I don’t even know who I am?’</p><p>It was a rare moment of clarity. The fog that clouded your brain most days temporarily lifted allowing you express what you felt.</p><p>Looking to Gibbs, you awaited any sort of reaction from him…</p>
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<a name="section0025"><h2>25. Lost for Words</h2></a>
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    <p>Downing what was left in his glass, Gibbs took the bottle of bourbon and poured himself another generous measure. He knew what he wanted to tell Y/N but as ever, the delivery of his feelings in verbal form left him opening and closing his mouth like a fish. The idea that she felt lost about who she was had seared right through him, and he’d wanted to tell her that he loved her as much now as he had before; that everything she had been through had only strengthened that. But no matter how hard he tried; the words would not form the sentences he needed. He’d never been much good at expressing his feelings, a trait that had led to the dissolution of more than one relationship in his life. Normally, he’d let his actions do the talking but he was scared, scared that she didn’t feel the same way he did and that his actions would make her want to leave. The idea of losing her now was too painful to contemplate so he truly was stuck unless he said something.</p><p>‘You’re still you,’</p><p>He cringed internally at the awkwardness. Why was this so hard? He knew what he wanted to say so why couldn’t he make this sound more natural? Y/N spent a moment processing his words, her eyes stayed on hm as he tried to make the situation less clumsy.</p><p>‘I fixed the stairs because we both missed the evenings we spent down here,’ he continued, finally able to say something that made sense.</p><p>It took a few moments, but she gently nodded her head, hopefully agreeing with the sentiment. The expression she wore was less confused and more considered which Gibbs was taking as a good sign.</p><p>‘I do enjoy being down here with you. Even without the bourbon,’ a gentle smile started to form on her lips. He couldn’t do anything but smile back.</p><p>‘That’s a good start. And I meant what I said about staying here. It’s for as long as you like.’</p><p>‘Ok she agreed. ‘Although, I promise to leave if you find someone special,’ she smirked.</p><p>‘Maybe I already have…’</p><p>He held his breath, tentatively glancing at her while she worked it out. He inwardly chuckled as her face went from confusion to realisation. She cocked her head, as if seeking confirmation that what she was thinking was what he had inferred. Taking a deep breath, he stood in front of Y/N as she sat on the stool and brushed her lips with the lightest of kisses. When he stepped back her entire face was smiling at him.</p><p>‘I wish you knew how long I’ve wanted you to do that,’ she sighed, placing her hands around his waist and pulling him towards her.</p><p>‘I can do it again, if you want?’ he teased, caressing her face with his roughened hands. She tilted her head, indicating her approval. Still holding her face, he once again put his lips to hers but with more confidence this time. She moved a hand to the back of his neck, letting him know that she was keen for this to continue. When they parted, they both smiled at each other, akin to a pair of love-struck teenagers. For the first time in months, everything seemed to make sense and their shattered hearts could finally be put back together again.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I hope you enjoyed this story. It was really good fun to write and I loved creating the ending. Thank you to everyone who gave feedback. It's always a lovely seretonin boost.</p>
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